Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Johari Window

Got this link from Etchen. Thanks.

If you guys have some time please stop by this link and fill it up for me... Thanks. You can also choose to be anonymous... if anonymous please mention for how many years/months you know me.. you can add that in the name... and I prefer brutal honesty over hypocritical politeness :-) well atleast I think I do...

Got this from wikipedia

A Johari window is a metaphorical tool intended to help people better understand their interpersonal communication and relationships. It is used primarily in self-help groups and corporate settings as a heuristic exercise.

Terms selected only by the participant, but not by any of their peers, are placed into the Fa├žade quadrant, representing information about the participant of which their peers are unaware. It is then up to the participant whether or not to disclose this information.

Terms that are not selected by the participant but only by their peers are placed into the Blind Spot quadrant. These represent information of which the participant is not aware, but others are, and they can decide whether and how to inform the individual about these "blind spots".

Terms which were not selected by either the participant or their peers remain in the Unknown quadrant, representing the participant's behaviors or motives which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Sexy Legs

A long long time ago, in a bathroom far far away.

I locked myself and decided that there was no turning back from this point. In my mind I was scared, I was terrified!!! I thought I would never do such a thing. "Me... never!!! ". The guilt was building up, the public humiliation that it would bring me if it got out into the open. It was an act so enduring, so tedious, so concentrated in all senses that anyone who did not know my intentions would have thought...

"Aaagghh!!". I was shaving my legs. Well I was preparing to participate in the college body-building competition. I had participated in 3rd year and had won the competition. That one was a cakewalk. The guy who had won the previous year saw me and decided to drop out. So now I was in final year and I just had to win again. This time though there was some tough competition from the ranks. I began heavy weight training about 2 months before D-day. I had made note of the competition and noted down their weak points. I came to the conclusion that I could have a shot at the title if I worked on their weaknesses, their legs. My gym trainer put me on a rigorous regime to curtail my tummy and add mass to my thighs. I didn't need to work too much on my upper body, I just concentrated on my legs. After a lot of deliberating, I had decided that I had to remove the excess hair on my legs to make the muscles more prominent. It could give me the edge I needed. It was a decision I had repeatedly vetoed and unanimously supported in my mind.

Talking about removing excess hair, I would always tease my sister about her eyebrow fine tuning. I used to call it 'mowing the lawn', a magic act, where nature would be challenged by the unique illusion of caterpillars being metamorphised into centipedes. I would regularly find time and reason to torment her about the uselessness of waxing or whatever she did. And at the end of it she would become red... literally!!! So as you must have guessed I was trying hard to hide my recent exploits from my sister. I was sitting quietly, trying to have a conversation with the idiot-box. Finally she passed by without looking at me. There was an air of irony and laughter in her voice as she said without looking me straight in the eye, "Sexy legs". After that brutal stab she laughed and walked away. I took consolation in the fact that I had managed to retain my title.

But my mother decided that I had not yet attained public humiliation for my acts. So she told me that we should capture the sexy legs and the hands and head that go with it, on camera. I was more than willing and went to get changed into my bodybuilding apparel. I asked her where I should pose. "In the garden", she said. "What!! our neighbors might see and what about the view from the road." After quite a bit of pleading she refused to budge. So I told her to stand in position with her finger on the camera button. I surveyed the surroundings and in about 3.142 seconds, I ran into position, posed, smiled, saw something which resembled a flash and then ran back in. After that I decided to give up professional body-building and I hung up my razor.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Raging Bull

It was sunday and I was out with some friends loitering around MG road. We had just come out of a pub where we had finished brunch. The only liquids we had at the pub was some lemon soda. Or so I think..... Well we were busy walking along the footpath, chatting up with one another when I started to brandish my hand to explain something. My hand swung quite a bit and I hit a pedestrian in the stomach. After apologizing to the poor chap I turned back to my friends to explain what I had just done. I found it pretty amusing and started to giggle while retracing my hand movements, while some words managed to find their way through my mouth and to my audience.

Aaaggghhh!!!!... Oops I managed to hit another pedestrian in the gut.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My first big goofup

This post has been inspired from Etchen's 'Embarrassing? Sure, I got lots of them!' post.

Well I have my own share too.

It happened when I was in 7th. The school choir was to perform at this girls school for a competition. We had this one particular number called 'Do Lord' which we were singing in 4 voices... supranos, altos, tenors and bass. We also sang 'Heal the world' and 'Hotel California'. I was supposed to give the introduction for this number. i.e say a few words before we started singing. I still remember the exact words. "We now present a spiritual Do Lord sung in four parts. Living in the space age we tend to forget God. So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals." I used to speak a lot on stage before that for elecution etc and the previous year too I had done the intro... I had acted in some plays too where I had some pretty long dialogues.... so this should have been a piece of cake for me... Then just an hour or less before we had to perform this teacher came up to me to modify what I had to say.... She asked me that instead of saying "sung in four parts", I should say, "sung in four pieces". So I was like cool and stuff about it.

Finally my turn came and I walked up to the mike and started "We now present a spiritual 'Do Lord' sung in four pieces.............." err I went blank at the very word that was changed
:-) More than 1000 pairs of eyes were on me... parents.. students.. to add to it girl students :-) I just stood there and looked at all of them. And then I hear the discomfort of my peers/seniors from behind... they were like 'oh shit' and whatever.... words were just not coming out as I just stood there ice cold. I heard voices from behind saying, "come back"... but I couldn't move.... Random thoughts started running through my head, "Was that pieces or parts", "Would it have made a big difference?", "How do I get intouch with the mob to do away with that teacher", "Lord please do something", "Do Lord, do something".... My last thought had a 'tenor' and 'alto' touch to it, "Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh do remember me." Infact I think it was in all four voices......

Then I see a bright light (the stage lights) and finally the revelation, I remembered that I had the words scribbled down on a scrap of paper in my pocket. So I royally take the paper out then look at the words... Voices are still like, "Nooooo", "shit ... oh man come back"... after memorising the remaining words and regaining my composure I decide to put the paper back in my pocket and resume, "Living in the space age we tend to forget God"... and I went blank again.... and well I sure did remember God!!! This time I heard curses from behind and laughter from the audience.... I was like wishing that the stage just open up and suck me inside... then again I take out the paper, but this time I'm smarter, I read the remaining thinghy from the scrap,"So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals."... By now our choir was definately appealing to God not just to remember us, but for a lot of other things too!!! The audience was laughing all the time... and students from behind were swearing.... then I went back to my place and we started singing.... I felt numb all over. Couldn't sing.... :-)

After our performance I got stares from all our students... those who spoke to me used expletives and reminded my of the disgrace I had brought upon them.. that too in a girls school.... :-)

After that on our way home my mom didn't talk about the incident. She said it happens and we talked about other things. One of my aunt was trying to console me and said, "oh.. you were pretty funny up there... was that part of the script". Yeah right. Luckily it was a saturday and I had 1 day off before I would have to face everyone in school. I was like totally depressed just thinking about it. Didn't talk to anyone on sunday. Just slept. Wondered what went wrong. Repeated the words about a million times in my head but didn't make a mistake even once. I didn't know who/what to put a finger on. Then monday came I felt even more down. The teachers didn't say anything. They were like its ok. But some students gave me the looks. Then I hit rock bottom cause everything was running smoothly till then... I mean I didn't make those kind of mistakes... Not me... Never... Didn't tell anyone... acted as if I was OK... inside it was eating me up.... still I didn't tell anyone about it... At rock bottom I wished that even the rocks should open up and I should be swallowed up. Finally decided that it was just an incident and I started to climb up slowly.... Didn't know rock climbing then but decided that I had to try it sometime. Took me about 3-4 days to get outta it and back to the normal person I was faking to be.

After that I acted in a lot of plays in school... participated in inter school elecutions... debates etc... had some sweet victories... I think my messup would probably be one of the last thing ppl will remember... but from all the dialogues, words I've spoken I only remember the above words exactly.... its like stuck in my head somewhere.... I considered that my worst ever public fiasco... Got my chance to mess things up later too :-) But I guess this one was like the first big goofup.... that too infront of a lot of ppl and God was there too, I mean I did see the light!!!

Some months back I was chatting with a friend about the falling flat on your face and the sweet victories stuff, and I thought about this again and realised that it was not just one of those big failure moments but also my own sweet little victory since I came out of it ok :-) Right... I didn't exterminate the teacher. Yeah that and I mean a lot of times such an incident would hinder future endeavours. For like 14 years I considered it one of my biggest goofups :-) but then realised otherwise....

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Look a way, beyond, the blue