My first big goofup

This post has been inspired from Etchen's 'Embarrassing? Sure, I got lots of them!' post.

Well I have my own share too.

It happened when I was in 7th. The school choir was to perform at this girls school for a competition. We had this one particular number called 'Do Lord' which we were singing in 4 voices... supranos, altos, tenors and bass. We also sang 'Heal the world' and 'Hotel California'. I was supposed to give the introduction for this number. i.e say a few words before we started singing. I still remember the exact words. "We now present a spiritual Do Lord sung in four parts. Living in the space age we tend to forget God. So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals." I used to speak a lot on stage before that for elecution etc and the previous year too I had done the intro... I had acted in some plays too where I had some pretty long dialogues.... so this should have been a piece of cake for me... Then just an hour or less before we had to perform this teacher came up to me to modify what I had to say.... She asked me that instead of saying "sung in four parts", I should say, "sung in four pieces". So I was like cool and stuff about it.

Finally my turn came and I walked up to the mike and started "We now present a spiritual 'Do Lord' sung in four pieces.............." err I went blank at the very word that was changed :-) More than 1000 pairs of eyes were on me... parents.. students.. to add to it girl students :-) I just stood there and looked at all of them. And then I hear the discomfort of my peers/seniors from behind... they were like 'oh shit' and whatever.... words were just not coming out as I just stood there ice cold. I heard voices from behind saying, "come back"... but I couldn't move.... Random thoughts started running through my head, "Was that pieces or parts", "Would it have made a big difference?", "How do I get intouch with the mob to do away with that teacher", "Lord please do something", "Do Lord, do something".... My last thought had a 'tenor' and 'alto' touch to it, "Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh do remember me." Infact I think it was in all four voices......

Then I see a bright light (the stage lights) and finally the revelation, I remembered that I had the words scribbled down on a scrap of paper in my pocket. So I royally take the paper out then look at the words... Voices are still like, "Nooooo", "shit ... oh man come back"... after memorising the remaining words and regaining my composure I decide to put the paper back in my pocket and resume, "Living in the space age we tend to forget God"... and I went blank again.... and well I sure did remember God!!! This time I heard curses from behind and laughter from the audience.... I was like wishing that the stage just open up and suck me inside... then again I take out the paper, but this time I'm smarter, I read the remaining thinghy from the scrap,"So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals."... By now our choir was definately appealing to God not just to remember us, but for a lot of other things too!!! The audience was laughing all the time... and students from behind were swearing.... then I went back to my place and we started singing.... I felt numb all over. Couldn't sing.... :-)

After our performance I got stares from all our students... those who spoke to me used expletives and reminded my of the disgrace I had brought upon them.. that too in a girls school.... :-)

After that on our way home my mom didn't talk about the incident. She said it happens and we talked about other things. One of my aunt was trying to console me and said, "oh.. you were pretty funny up there... was that part of the script". Yeah right. Luckily it was a saturday and I had 1 day off before I would have to face everyone in school. I was like totally depressed just thinking about it. Didn't talk to anyone on sunday. Just slept. Wondered what went wrong. Repeated the words about a million times in my head but didn't make a mistake even once. I didn't know who/what to put a finger on. Then monday came I felt even more down. The teachers didn't say anything. They were like its ok. But some students gave me the looks. Then I hit rock bottom cause everything was running smoothly till then... I mean I didn't make those kind of mistakes... Not me... Never... Didn't tell anyone... acted as if I was OK... inside it was eating me up.... still I didn't tell anyone about it... At rock bottom I wished that even the rocks should open up and I should be swallowed up. Finally decided that it was just an incident and I started to climb up slowly.... Didn't know rock climbing then but decided that I had to try it sometime. Took me about 3-4 days to get outta it and back to the normal person I was faking to be.

After that I acted in a lot of plays in school... participated in inter school elecutions... debates etc... had some sweet victories... I think my messup would probably be one of the last thing ppl will remember... but from all the dialogues, words I've spoken I only remember the above words exactly.... its like stuck in my head somewhere.... I considered that my worst ever public fiasco... Got my chance to mess things up later too :-) But I guess this one was like the first big goofup.... that too infront of a lot of ppl and God was there too, I mean I did see the light!!!

Some months back I was chatting with a friend about the falling flat on your face and the sweet victories stuff, and I thought about this again and realised that it was not just one of those big failure moments but also my own sweet little victory since I came out of it ok :-) Right... I didn't exterminate the teacher. Yeah that and I mean a lot of times such an incident would hinder future endeavours. For like 14 years I considered it one of my biggest goofups :-) but then realised otherwise....

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Look a way, beyond, the blue