Saturday, August 30, 2008

Obsession


My little world, I wrap myself in
Day in and day out, obsessing
If only this and if only that I say
Inner silence I shatter
'I me and myself' so my days pass
Relativity I forget
Till I hear of another being and his struggle
I stop dead ashamed
I wonder who what and why
My obsession masking what is true
I tend to forget how precious life is
How utterly delicate and taken for granted
I feel worse than I did before
For the thankfulness lasts but a second
Such is the irony of obsession
With oneself and ones own little world
How many more beings would it take
For the seconds to extend to forever
But I end this moment with hope
That we are given time to change
To realize and learn and be thankful
To let go, give in and take the journey

-- Margaret Desouza

Love


To those who know it, it's our greatest need
To those who have seen it, it's our greatest wonder
To those who have lost it, it's our greatest hurt
To those who have experienced it, it defines our humanness

Yet, We who have known it and recognized it as our greatest need,
still find it so difficult to share with another…
We who have seen it and stood in awe in its presence,
still chose to run away from it…
We who have lost it and been hurt greatly by its loss,
still risk losing it all over again…
& We who have experienced it, and through it our humanness,
still chose to deny it…

And yet, it still continues to conquer us, humble us, and teach us
About ourselves and our world…
About whats important and what matters…
& About why we exist…

-- Margaret Desouza

Friday, August 29, 2008

The Pacemaker


I always thought that I was strong
as strong as any one could be
I have always had my walls all around
my fortress or so I believed!
I have hidden there
and fooled myself into thinking that I was safe
Untill the walls came crumbling down…
and I lay there exposed and afraid

I struggled to build my walls up again,
hoping and longing for familiarity
I wanted to lose myself in sweet oblivion
within the fortress that had now abandoned me
Day in and day out I would lie awake
wondering when the nightmare would end
The time had come though, I finally realized,
that life would never be the same again

My life's journey feels like it began that fateful day
when realization hit home
That the innocence and carefree days of childhood and youth
were only a trial run
That the actual race has now begun…
and we each will have to brave the storm
Alone, we will have to run…
and will be often be faced with self doubt

With these somber thoughts I start my journey
and already feel like I am running behind
I look around and seem to be the last one there…
with the rest of the pack way ahead
I wonder if I will ever catch up…
if there is any point to all this pain
And for a moment, just for a moment,
I allow myself to slow down and be afraid

Its at that particular moment that I understood
why I felt the way I did
It was because I always saw myself
having to run alone in that race of life
But in that instance of surrender, I lost myself
and for the first time in a long time- felt safe again.

My journey has just begun and I still do not know
where the road will lead
But I do know the one who knows the way
and pray for the one who will chose to run alongside me
We were not built to run alone, to build our walls and be safe…
we were built to last…
Created to run together… With someone leading the way

-- Margaret Desouza


Thursday, August 28, 2008

Willingly Willed


Free-will, they say, is precious
From past mistakes, I tend oft to disagree
And yet, failure is what builds character they say
Why then are we today, still frustratingly so un-free

We don't know what's to come tomorrow
And we rarely understand & reflect on our past
Hence we oft choose, foolishly, looking at the flitting present
And with these decisions then, on us the die is cast

How then, does one choose wisely in the 'now'
Does one rely on the foolish heart or the ignorant mind
Perhaps, its only belief and faith then, that do feature
In this, life's test of time

We were created to believe in someone greater
Look inside you, and your quiet wise soul will concur
Yet we choose to blissfully ignore its precious wisdom
For flitting present gains, our belief and faith are made to blur

We are not who we think we are
And it would seem foolish to think we know it all
Lets not, then, paradoxically rely on ourselves to exercise free-will today
But rather, on the one who created all things- big and small

-- Margaret Desouza


A Little Prayer


I said a little prayer today

To our God who loves us all...
I knelt before His alter today
And begged Him to answer my call...

I went to Him since I was lost
In a maze that never seems to end...
His light was what I needed to find
There, at His feet, I needed a friend...

He didn't say a word to me
In His wisdom, He first let me cry...
He didn't say Do this or Do that
In His love, He first just held me tight...

I still don't have my answers
I still can't see the end...
My journey through the maze continues
But this time, I have by my side a friend...

And so my daily bread of comfort
Today I have received...
Tomorrow I will be back at His feet again
And His comfort, again, I will seek...

-- Margaret Desouza

Monday, August 25, 2008

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Imaginative Sense


I was chatting with a friend trying to understand her approach to the various arts that she has tried out. Was interested in knowing the art in which she felt she could create something out of nothingness versus when she had to use something as a reference. Just thought that she brought out the crux very well; the subconscious process behind it all, so decided to put her thoughts up here. Cut pasted her thoughts from gtalk below.

"I suppose that in any activity that requires sensual stimulation, imagination will probably be the artist, without needing to copy something else. But those that need rationality in some sense may curb imagination.

To experience a superb sunset you don't need to compare it with how it looked yesterday and whether today is less perfect. You're sense has passed its judgement without external comparison (senses being their own artist). But if you wanted to see if that big beautiful sun's color is depicting a rainy or sunny day (rationality required) then comparison with a sunset on a rainy day would be required. So when senses rule, imagination is manifest to its fullest as opposed to when you want to SEE the perfect and not necessarily FEEL it." - Margaret Desouza.


Sunday, July 13, 2008

Desiderata


A friend sent me this poem by Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be
greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career
however humble;
it is a real possession in the
changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham,
drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


by Max Ehrmann


Saturday, July 12, 2008

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thank you for the poetry

Joined a new startup called Amagi. Its founded by the founders of Impulsesoft. The previous startup that I worked in and that got acquired by SiRF. Was wondering what to tell my everyone that I've worked with for the past 5 years at Impulsesoft then SiRF. I tried to summarize it in the email below without trying to be too corny :-)

[snip]
Its been 5 years since I met most of you guys. But more than the duration there have been so many opportunities to look at people’s approaches to various things; the quiet, the humorous, the mechanical, the poetic, the romantic, the restless, the passionate, the fearless, the brave, the courageous, the lucid.

Different approaches which have helped me to approach various things, not just work.

Poetry begets (inspires) poetry. Thank you for the poetry.
The Hand
Paper Monster

Thanks,
Alistair
[snip]

Monday, June 16, 2008

The GodFather Part 2


June the 15th, a day which he would be made to remember, as he lay there, floating in equilibrium, enveloped by the covering that protected him from the elements. Crouched, asleep, unaware of what was happening around him, he gave into teleportation, from his never never land into reality, as he lay there in his most angelic dimension.

He slowly opened his eyes, fighting the resistance that light endured on his being. The warmth of the wavelengths on his eyelids slowly started to form vague lines that seemed to coalesce and then disseminate and then coalesce again to form the outline of abstractness; the aura of objects. Color began to illuminate the surface of the objects and then fade a bit only to finally refurbish a different hue.

He exhaled, releasing the sensations that crept through his nerves; the air unwinding its way into the open only to be sucked back in. And in doing so igniting a million sensory buds as they came alive, deciphering the crisp smell of the cold air; a pungent subtleness intermingled with it, finally exposing itself; a brush with ambience; the flavor of freshness.

And then he exhaled again as a faint sound reverberated through his chest cavity, waxing its way through his larynx, entering the hollow of his mouth for sometime only to find its way back down that tube to its source; waning, waning as it went down, dying out in silent staccato attempts and then the cavity lay barren.

His tongue traced its way through his lips as they broke free from each other, revealing the pinkish tip that licked their rims, quickly sneaking back in to examine the taste as it mixed with saliva.

His hand brushed the fabric that lay beneath his self and as he moved, his fingertips unconsciously traced the patterns that embedded the sheet. The smooth friction between touch and being touched, transferred a tingling sensation through his palms and wrists and his fingers twitched.

Slowly drowsiness and resistance gave in as the objects began to darken, the smell slowly fading, the sound unwinding, taste stagnating and touch losing its sensation. And like a newborn, unconsciously experiencing its first sensations, he slowly drifted back into never never land.

And then the phone rang, awaking him from his reverie and he heard a voice at the other end, "Water broke. Going to the hospital".


Sunday, May 25, 2008

I Believe

To believe in God do you need to believe in People.

Should you're religion become you're beliefs or should you're beliefs become you're religion.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Monday, May 19, 2008

Without Limits


Running Without Limits - Marathon Legs

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Running for NGOpost


We have the world richest 10K run coming up in bangalore this weekend...
http://sunfeastworld10k.indiatimes.com/
needless to say i will NOT win any of that money!!!

Anyways.. about 30+ of us have decided to run for NGOpost this coming sunday. Many have never run 10K before...

Someone was doing a practice run and I'm not sure where he was looking but he tripped on stones and fell down... bruising his knee and injuring his thumb.... however he will run... this time a bit more focused... There are two who ran 11 kms to office on wednesday, just as a practice run!! One of them took a lift inbetween.
And then there is another who tells ppl that its NOT a marathon. Its just 10Kms. So its quite a motley bunch. But what we have in common is that we all will be running for an NGO called NGOpost (www.ngopost.org)

*What is NGOpost?
*NGOpost is a place where people share news, stories related to NGOs. The thought is to make it a one stop platform for getting all news, updates and information about social welfare initiatives. You could also post a problem and ask for suggestions or help to solve it. This initiative was started about 8 months back, and as on date it has over 400 users, with an average of 5-8 stories daily, and most of them real good inspiring stories like this

During the run you will be able to spot us amongst the many runners by the t-shirts we will be wearing. The basic idea is "I phone, I google, I care" and "iPhone iGoogle iCare". Since ngopost.org is an online NGO the idea behind the words are to cover ppl that use the latest technology for communication. Also I sometimes like to keep things a bit abstract so as to make ppl curious to know what its all about :-)

You can support our run by telling more ppl about the site www.ngopost.org.
Also if you wish you can make a donation to our running cause at
http://ngopost.org/donate.php

Thanks,
Alistair

for those at bangalore...
PS: registrations should still be open. So if you would like to join us please let us know. online registration can be done here...
http://reg.sunfeastworld10k.indiatimes.com/marathon/marathon.jsp
or you can directly register at kanteerva stadium till saturday evening

Here is a mail form Parul who started NGO post.
----------------------------------------------------------
Dear friends,

Most of you know that I have been involved with NGO Post - a web-platform for sharing ideas and information related to various social issues and helping people work together for their solutions across the globe. It started at UCSD in August 07 with a friend(Nitin) and I, and we have since grown to a team of 10 students and young techies. Going further we have lot of plans for making it a powerful network for people interested in social welfare, get experts to drive technology to places which need them and so on. Big dreams but we are on our way :-)

With all the enthusiasm building around Sunfeast 10k run in Bangalore, I, Goli (a NGOpost team member) and 20 of our friends will be running for NGOpost's cause. Here's How you can help:
  1. Support NGO Post in the Bangalore Sunfeast 10K run
  2. Participate - Since NGO Post is all about exchanging ideas and connecting people for social change, the more people use it, the more useful it becomes! Go to NGO Post, share stories and ideas about various social issues, vote for the best stories and connect with other changemakers!
  3. Spread the word - Let your friends know about NGO Post! A few ways to do it:
    • Link to http://ngopost.org/ from your websites, blogs, orkut/facebook profiles. We have a scrolling widget that displays the most popular stories which you can add to your site.
    • Pass this mail on to as many people as you can. Please PLEEEASE :-)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

The Builder

The Builder
by Pablo Neruda

I chose my own illusion,
from frozen salt I made its likeness--
I based my time on the great rain
and, even so, I am still alive.

It is true that my long mastery
divided up the dreams
and without my knowing there arose
walls, separations, endlessly.

Then I went to the coast.

I saw the beginnings of the ship,
I touched it, smooth as the sacred fish--
it quivered like the harp of heaven,
the woodwork was clean,
it had the scent of honey.
And when it did not come back,
the ship did not come back,
everyone drowned in his own tears
while I went back to the wood
with an ax naked as a star.

My faith lay in those ships.

I have no recourse but to live.