Life's calling, where are you ???

Got this forward from a friend... Needless to say, she is a girl... quite obvious otherwise I would have said, 'He' is a boy.

Find my comments at the end :-)

[snip]
Life's calling, where are you???

What happens if u stay late in the office"
It's half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on.. .
PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing...and who's at work?
Most of them?? ? Take a closer look.. .
All or most specimens are 20-something male species of the human race...
Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!! !
Any guesses?? ?

Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home... here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee.. that's is why I am working late...importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the scene in most research centres and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just b'coz they say they've nothing else to do...

Now what are the consequences... read on...
"Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!! !
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.

So, My dear Bachelors let me tell ! you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and that's when the problem starts... b'coz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regular time... after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...

Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it". All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they are spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they would have to regret at one point of time.

* So what's the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!! !
* Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues.

There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music.. .
Learn a foreign language...try a sport... TT, cricket.........
Importantly Get a girl friend or boy friend, take him/her around town.

* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.

Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*

Please pass on this message to all those colleagues

And please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
[snip]

My take on it
> Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*

So basically the forward very subtly tells us to go out and get drunk everyday. The things liquor companies do for a little bit of advertising :-)

To buy or not to buy

I have been in 'buying a new laptop' mode for the past few weeks now. A deal that looked very promising fell flat on the ground and now I'm back at square one. Whenever my mom calls me she keeps asking me about the laptop and if I have got it yet. To which I reply, "I'm still looking around". I mean ideally I would like to wait to get the latest quad core processors, but as of now I'm looking at the dual core processors. I usually take time with buying certains things. Be it jeans, gifts etc. I just feel that somewhere deep down inside it has to appeal to me. Sometimes it takes a few seconds and sometimes it takes ages but at the end of it the feeling is always the same.

So my mom called me up yesterday and told me about this article she saw in the paper about glossy screen laptops which have some viewing problems. She said that she would type out the article and email it to me, as it was small and as she would not be able to explain all the technical details. She also told me that she mentioned something at the end and I felt her smile at the other end. When I checked my mail I saw the following at the end, the subtle remark glowing with sarcasm...

It read, "HAPPY WINDOWS SHOPPING".

The Resurrection

It was Good Friday and I was having lunch with some friends. Out of curiosity they asked me about Good Friday and Easter and why it was called a Good Friday when Jesus was crucified on that particular day. So there I was, someone who had failed to fast during Lent, someone who had failed to make whatever sacrifices I had decided upon, someone who was waiting for sunday just to have a sumptuous meal at my cousins place; trying to explain the mystery behind the most important event for christians. I told them about the Last Supper, about the accusations put before Pontius Pilate and the passion that led directly to the crucifixion, for the forgiveness of our sins. I just spoke about events from the Bible. Anyways let me try again.

I know a young person who has cancer. I don't know him personally but know that a lot of people are very fond of him cause he is so full of life. Isn't it ironic that there are those who are so full of life when their journey is nearing its end and then there are those that are just worried that they have a nice journey in the future, no matter what it takes; and in the bargain they die somewhere along the way. As Natalie Goldberg says, "The problem is we think our social and financial status, looks, past victories are solid when we actually exist in the fluid form. We actually exist in the moment where we have the ability to change every second". Come to think of it, the process of fasting and abstinence from something we like, make us not only sympathize but also empathize when the moment demands us to be more humble. I went for confession on saturday after about two years. The process is not only mean't to make you feel that you can start with a new slate no matter how badly you have screwed up, but also to make you think about what you've done, so as to make you a little bit more humble. And then maybe just for a little while after that you feel real good about who you are and where you are heading. The resurrection not only gives us hope of life after death but it also gives us hope of life after death be it in this life as well.

As Carson McCullers says, "Death is always the same, but each man dies in his own way." To add to that I would say, "Life is always the same, but each man lives in his own way."

To Kill a Mocking Nerd

Respect can only be gained, it can never be demanded be it in this life or the next. The icon who had just passed away had during his life gained the respect of a large section from amongst the populace. We were told to go home early from office as trouble was expected from mourning fans. On the way home we saw remnants of burnt tyres on the road and evidence that the tar on the road was witness to stone throwing earlier in the day. Shops had already pulled their shutters down but we managed to scrounge some rations which would get us through the day. Cable TV was off so we could not know what the status was in the other parts of the city.

The next morning, the day of the burial, a few grocery stores were open for a short window. We managed to get some more basic necessities. The shops were out of Maggie noodles. The guys behind us also asked for Maggie noodles :-) The roads had a deserted look. As the cable TV was still off, calls came in from out of town apprising us of the situation. Buses and cars were burnt in various parts of the city. The news channels were broadcasting clips of a policeman being beaten up. Even a TV crew was attacked. It seems that a lot of fans were not allowed to pay their last respects and so they went on a rampage. Cars, shop windows that did not have the picture of the actor were damaged. I called up a friend who told me that police had to resort to tear gas near the main road adjoining his residence. The whole of geekville had come to a standstill.

I think it was time to do away with euphemisms, especially the news reporters. Damaging other people's property is not called mourning. For many it was just an opportunity to vent their frustrations. Maybe the memory of an abuse/slanderous remark that was born from the car of the higher in status. Maybe the memory of the tone of voice of the other person in an argument whose outcome had already been decided by the look of the clothes on our back. The mob mentality that day has resulted in the death of 6 people including a policeman. But even a mob is made up of people. Thats what Atticus would have told little Scout in 'To kill a mockingbird'. Even a mob is made up of people.

Madness, Fireflies and Chocolate mint liqueur

It was saturday and we had nothing much to do under the ceiling, so we decided to remove the parenthesis and broadened our horizons in the quest to find something to do under the sun. As the last of the sun's rays of hope set, we held on to the reflected rays of the moon. There was to be music in the air. Duh!!! I mean 'Part deux'. To sum up what happened last time I could say that it was full of Madness, Fireflies and Chocolate mint liqueur.

Neeti as usual was sending threatening smses to Saurabh as we were late to pick her and Deepti up on the way. This time Dhruv, Namita and Namita's mom joined the gang. The stage was set under a large Banyan Tree, about 30 kms out of Bangalore, at an ashram called Fireflies. We carried two matresses to soften the impact of the stone amphitheatre. We took a lot of cushions and pillows along. It was to be a night of Hindustani and Carnatic vocal and instrumental, Baul, Fusion, Western jazz, folk, and other modern vocal and instrumental music, from 6pm to 6am.

The poster said, "It is a night of conviviality, friendship and spiritual values. It is an evening of great music, much laughter and fun. You go away praising and re-affirming the gift of being alive." After the performances of the Classical Carnatic flute duet and Hindustani Sitar we decided to go to the flea market to satiate our hunger. I was given charge of guarding our belongings. A lady then came with her child and tried to encroach on our territory when I apprised her of the fact that there were many of us. She smiled and said that she understood and moved to the side. But she continued to use our pillow and kept her child who was sleepy on the mattress, which I felt was ok, since we had some extra place. Neeti and Deepti then came and got the pillow back from the lady. Neeti and myself were then discussing about the lady's intentions. Neeti was of the opinion that the lady was wrong in taking our stuff without even asking us and keeping it inspite of me telling her. Neeti said that it was the principle behind it and I should not get soft just cause a lady and a child were involved and also reiterated that they never asked the lady to remove the child from the mattress. I agreed that the lady was wrong but still didn't feel things were right, I just don't know why. However when Dhruv, who was sitting at the side of the child, asked for a pillow I thought it was for the little kid and told Neeti about it, to which she looked at me and smiled. Well it was the spirit behind it. I then felt that things were right and then we all went on to enjoy the music :-) Before leaving the lady smiled and thanked us and left.

The Choir of the Alliance Francaise de Bangalore didn't perform that well. The Hindustani Hawaian Guitar was pretty good. There was also some group that came and did some kind of a tribal dance. They just hit the drums real hard and danced around in their tribal attire, which the crowd seemed to enjoy. After thaat they went up and played near the flea market. Myself, Deepti and Saurabh danced a bit, with some crazy hand movements. Everyone was dancing. I ended it with some classic Mithun Da steps to embarass all of us. Deepti seems like she really enjoys dancing. Saurabh as usual freaks out like me. We even danced in our seats on the mattresses and tried to embarass others :-)

Then came Dr. Thomas Chandy with his group who played some Jazz. Some of the members play Jazz at Java City on Sundays. They have this old uncle who seems very lethargic but plays the saxaphone with all his energy. After that Geetha Navale performed with her group Esperanto. They played fusion music. The music was very different from what I've heard. We liked it a lot. Then a bangla group Oikyotaan played Baul music. They were good but performed for too long and ate into the time of other performers.

It was around 2ish and we decided to head home. We were to miss some nice Qawali, Sufi and rock music. At the parking lot we met some extra luggage and decided to give them a drop to Bangalore. So that made it two ppl in the front and seven in the back. Saurabh said that he used to manage to fit as many as 14 ppl in the back of his modified car. I clicked a lot of snaps which continued in the car. However Saurabh who was driving refused to turn his head for the snap, which left me pretty offended :-) However I forgot abt it as there was music in the air. We were also trying to rag the two college guys who we took on as extra luggage, who were in 11th standard. We were trying all things, in good humour, to get them to do what we wanted. However they didn't feel that they were kids and refused to give in. I then asked the so called kids to guess the age of Deepti and Neeti just to put things off balance maybe and see how they reacted. However the kids guessed their exact age and were spared. I then commented that maye they were a bit scared to say the actual age that popped up in their minds and as the words passed thru their mouths about 5-6 yrs were substracted to play it safe. Then there were counter comments on age and the chatting went on and on. Yeah, we spend most of our life thinking that what we do is the mature and right thing. We think we are right and no longer the kids that we used to be. But finally when we reach that stage of maturity and wisdom, which rarely comes for most ppl, we feel that we want to be kids again. So does that mean that we are all kids, be it mentally or mentally. Hmmm.

Fools Die

My parents called up my sister's husband Nikhil at 2 in the morning a few days back. My mom told him that my dad wanted to speak to him about something very serious. My dad then took over and told Nikhil that his father had called them up discussing about some money issue. Nikhil and my sister got married in November last year. It appeared to be a matter pertaining to dowry or whatever. They told Nikhil that they were a bit disturbed and that they couldn't sleep till now and so decided to call him up. My dad then told Nikhil details of conversation with his dad. Nikhil was like very tense and was trying to calm my dad down, saying my parents will not do such things etc etc... He told my dad that he will talk to him, there must be some sort of misunderstanding.

Another friend of mine who is a mixture of parsi and hindu got a call from his brother who is gonna marry a girl who is half muslim and half jewish. They have been friendly since quite some time. He said that his brother called him early in the morning a few day back and told him that he was thinking of cancelling the marriage since both families couldn't decide on what the marriage ceremony should be i.e. hindu or muslim or parsi or jewish traditions or combination of what not. My friend's brother then told him that he is fed up of everything and feels that if ppl are fighting for this itself then god knows what will happen in the future. My friend got damn tense and was trying hard to explain to his brother that things will work out.

We live in a sphere of traditions, greed, pride, violence, and betrayal that sometimes overshadow the state of happiness that we all so long for. Everything springs from a thought that is passed down generations. The thoughts of today may seem foolish and immature tomorrow. We need to continuously filter our thoughts.

About the stories above, well they are april fool pranks that were played in good humour. Nikhil finally caught on that it was the 1st of april. I guess he never expected his inlaws to pull this one on him. That too at 2am in the morning :-) My friend too burst out laughing when his bro told him that everything was fine and it was just a prank. The very fact that people can joke about such issues feels nice, especially in a society where many times conversations such as the ones above are not jokes. We are all fools in some way or the other and we know what happens to fools don't we. Well if you don't, then ask Mario Puzo; the storyteller whose characters see things not always as they are but as they should be.

Chairman for a Day

It was that time of the year. The autumn of our middle ages, where we stare at the tarot leaves of all hues, strewn on the ground and hope that with spring comes a gentle, calm, soothing breeze. A time where our past gives direction to our future. For some it is a time to strengthen alliances, a time to kill a mocking bird, a time to prepare resumes. For others its a time to favour the brave, a time for self reflection and a little bit of soul searching.

Well I filled my self appraisal form, where you are expected to critically analyse yourself. You look back at the past year and jot down the things that you did right but more importantly you jot down and think about the things you messed up. So as you must have guessed mine is a long list... of all my messups... and the list is longer in my head. And its not just the things that we did and messed up, but more importantly the things that we didn't do in the first place. Now now, we can't be crucified for something we didn't do, can we!!! But then again we think better of ourselves or atleast we would like to. And there are those times when we come up with this concoction of unfortunate events that paint an azure picture of a sweet child with a halo... hell's angel. I mean all of us think that we deserve to get that big fat juicy hike, that we have grown a year older and so we must be wiser... hmmmm. With all our wisdom to back us, what if we were made chairman of the company for a day, how would we perform. Well a lucky few are given that chance :-)

A few weeks back a few of us were given the opportunity to be the chairman for a day. We had been allocated funds to get new chairs for the company. Shankar picked up three ppl randomly from the populace. Sridhar (the architect), Anurag (a sales guys) and moi. We went to this dealer and appraised him of our noble intentions. We tried out all chairs, in all positions. The 'squat' position, the 'typing the keyboard' position, the 'relaxed and appear to be thinking of the next big thing' position, the 'sleeping' position, which usually follows the previous position :-) We could actually write a bestseller on chair positions!!!! We checked for adjustable height, degree of tilt of the back rest, degree of tilt for the base (where we rest our base), height for arm rests etc. We all played our role to perfection and did what was required for the job. Now wasn't that easy, being a chairman and stuff.

We were taking quite a bit of time so Sridhar thought it appropriate to inform the dealer of our thought process. He told him, "Although we are just a little bit over 50 in our current office, everyone would like to have a say in the chairs we choose. It might not make business sense to you, but if possible we would request you to get some chairs we shortlist to our office so that ppl can sit/feel and vote for chairs. Maybe also if you could give a short presentation on the features it would be great. You see most ppl would have joined this place cause they felt that their vote/voice/work/position would count. We would like everyone to be comfortable in their positions, even if its their chair position. We would like them to have that feeling of 'my voice counts' when we choose chairs too." The dealer looked at us for some time and then smiled and so we began to shortlist certain chairs. We all liked this particular chair which was so comfy and cosy and nice.... aaaahhhhh.... soooo nice..... Then Shankar told us about our budget, the nightmare that awoke me from my slumber. The cost of that chair was twice our budget... noooooo... sob sob...

Then random thoughts started to pound our brains, we were vulnerable, like kids that just wanted to have that voluptuous ice-cream. Maybe if we brought this chair for the showdown and people looked really happy in it, upper management would agree to push the budget a bit. Or maybe we could take it, make ppl sit on it and then give a demonic laugh and tell them that they can't have it. Or maybe we could get a few of these chairs and give them to the best performers for the month. We then decided that we need not soak peoples hearts in wine by showing them this chair, so we informed the dealer not to bring it. On our way back we continued with our board meeting and discussed about various other scenarios and then I came up with another one to make ppl feel that they have made a choice. Maybe we should take some of the chairs we rejected for the showdown. I mean make ppl sit on those ones first and then sit on other better ones which are within our budget. So that way they will choose the best one from amongst the one (not ones) we have already chosen and then they will feel that their voice counts. The air resonated with demonic laughter. It was a joke, but the genesis of that thought lay somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind... I mean I just hope it was a joke. As I said I was given the opportunity to be the chairman for a day.

Johari Window

Got this link from Etchen. Thanks.

If you guys have some time please stop by this link and fill it up for me... Thanks. You can also choose to be anonymous... if anonymous please mention for how many years/months you know me.. you can add that in the name... and I prefer brutal honesty over hypocritical politeness :-) well atleast I think I do...

Got this from wikipedia

A Johari window is a metaphorical tool intended to help people better understand their interpersonal communication and relationships. It is used primarily in self-help groups and corporate settings as a heuristic exercise.

Terms selected only by the participant, but not by any of their peers, are placed into the Façade quadrant, representing information about the participant of which their peers are unaware. It is then up to the participant whether or not to disclose this information.

Terms that are not selected by the participant but only by their peers are placed into the Blind Spot quadrant. These represent information of which the participant is not aware, but others are, and they can decide whether and how to inform the individual about these "blind spots".

Terms which were not selected by either the participant or their peers remain in the Unknown quadrant, representing the participant's behaviors or motives which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.

Sexy Legs

A long long time ago, in a bathroom far far away.

I locked myself and decided that there was no turning back from this point. In my mind I was scared, I was terrified!!! I thought I would never do such a thing. "Me... never!!! ". The guilt was building up, the public humiliation that it would bring me if it got out into the open. It was an act so enduring, so tedious, so concentrated in all senses that anyone who did not know my intentions would have thought...

"Aaagghh!!". I was shaving my legs. Well I was preparing to participate in the college body-building competition. I had participated in 3rd year and had won the competition. That one was a cakewalk. The guy who had won the previous year saw me and decided to drop out. So now I was in final year and I just had to win again. This time though there was some tough competition from the ranks. I began heavy weight training about 2 months before D-day. I had made note of the competition and noted down their weak points. I came to the conclusion that I could have a shot at the title if I worked on their weaknesses, their legs. My gym trainer put me on a rigorous regime to curtail my tummy and add mass to my thighs. I didn't need to work too much on my upper body, I just concentrated on my legs. After a lot of deliberating, I had decided that I had to remove the excess hair on my legs to make the muscles more prominent. It could give me the edge I needed. It was a decision I had repeatedly vetoed and unanimously supported in my mind.

Talking about removing excess hair, I would always tease my sister about her eyebrow fine tuning. I used to call it 'mowing the lawn', a magic act, where nature would be challenged by the unique illusion of caterpillars being metamorphised into centipedes. I would regularly find time and reason to torment her about the uselessness of waxing or whatever she did. And at the end of it she would become red... literally!!! So as you must have guessed I was trying hard to hide my recent exploits from my sister. I was sitting quietly, trying to have a conversation with the idiot-box. Finally she passed by without looking at me. There was an air of irony and laughter in her voice as she said without looking me straight in the eye, "Sexy legs". After that brutal stab she laughed and walked away. I took consolation in the fact that I had managed to retain my title.

But my mother decided that I had not yet attained public humiliation for my acts. So she told me that we should capture the sexy legs and the hands and head that go with it, on camera. I was more than willing and went to get changed into my bodybuilding apparel. I asked her where I should pose. "In the garden", she said. "What!! our neighbors might see and what about the view from the road." After quite a bit of pleading she refused to budge. So I told her to stand in position with her finger on the camera button. I surveyed the surroundings and in about 3.142 seconds, I ran into position, posed, smiled, saw something which resembled a flash and then ran back in. After that I decided to give up professional body-building and I hung up my razor.

Raging Bull

It was sunday and I was out with some friends loitering around MG road. We had just come out of a pub where we had finished brunch. The only liquids we had at the pub was some lemon soda. Or so I think..... Well we were busy walking along the footpath, chatting up with one another when I started to brandish my hand to explain something. My hand swung quite a bit and I hit a pedestrian in the stomach. After apologizing to the poor chap I turned back to my friends to explain what I had just done. I found it pretty amusing and started to giggle while retracing my hand movements, while some words managed to find their way through my mouth and to my audience.

Aaaggghhh!!!!... Oops I managed to hit another pedestrian in the gut.

My first big goofup

This post has been inspired from Etchen's 'Embarrassing? Sure, I got lots of them!' post.

Well I have my own share too.

It happened when I was in 7th. The school choir was to perform at this girls school for a competition. We had this one particular number called 'Do Lord' which we were singing in 4 voices... supranos, altos, tenors and bass. We also sang 'Heal the world' and 'Hotel California'. I was supposed to give the introduction for this number. i.e say a few words before we started singing. I still remember the exact words. "We now present a spiritual Do Lord sung in four parts. Living in the space age we tend to forget God. So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals." I used to speak a lot on stage before that for elecution etc and the previous year too I had done the intro... I had acted in some plays too where I had some pretty long dialogues.... so this should have been a piece of cake for me... Then just an hour or less before we had to perform this teacher came up to me to modify what I had to say.... She asked me that instead of saying "sung in four parts", I should say, "sung in four pieces". So I was like cool and stuff about it.

Finally my turn came and I walked up to the mike and started "We now present a spiritual 'Do Lord' sung in four pieces.............." err I went blank at the very word that was changed :-) More than 1000 pairs of eyes were on me... parents.. students.. to add to it girl students :-) I just stood there and looked at all of them. And then I hear the discomfort of my peers/seniors from behind... they were like 'oh shit' and whatever.... words were just not coming out as I just stood there ice cold. I heard voices from behind saying, "come back"... but I couldn't move.... Random thoughts started running through my head, "Was that pieces or parts", "Would it have made a big difference?", "How do I get intouch with the mob to do away with that teacher", "Lord please do something", "Do Lord, do something".... My last thought had a 'tenor' and 'alto' touch to it, "Do Lord, Oh Do Lord, Oh do remember me." Infact I think it was in all four voices......

Then I see a bright light (the stage lights) and finally the revelation, I remembered that I had the words scribbled down on a scrap of paper in my pocket. So I royally take the paper out then look at the words... Voices are still like, "Nooooo", "shit ... oh man come back"... after memorising the remaining words and regaining my composure I decide to put the paper back in my pocket and resume, "Living in the space age we tend to forget God"... and I went blank again.... and well I sure did remember God!!! This time I heard curses from behind and laughter from the audience.... I was like wishing that the stage just open up and suck me inside... then again I take out the paper, but this time I'm smarter, I read the remaining thinghy from the scrap,"So now hear our choir appealing to God to remember us mortals."... By now our choir was definately appealing to God not just to remember us, but for a lot of other things too!!! The audience was laughing all the time... and students from behind were swearing.... then I went back to my place and we started singing.... I felt numb all over. Couldn't sing.... :-)

After our performance I got stares from all our students... those who spoke to me used expletives and reminded my of the disgrace I had brought upon them.. that too in a girls school.... :-)

After that on our way home my mom didn't talk about the incident. She said it happens and we talked about other things. One of my aunt was trying to console me and said, "oh.. you were pretty funny up there... was that part of the script". Yeah right. Luckily it was a saturday and I had 1 day off before I would have to face everyone in school. I was like totally depressed just thinking about it. Didn't talk to anyone on sunday. Just slept. Wondered what went wrong. Repeated the words about a million times in my head but didn't make a mistake even once. I didn't know who/what to put a finger on. Then monday came I felt even more down. The teachers didn't say anything. They were like its ok. But some students gave me the looks. Then I hit rock bottom cause everything was running smoothly till then... I mean I didn't make those kind of mistakes... Not me... Never... Didn't tell anyone... acted as if I was OK... inside it was eating me up.... still I didn't tell anyone about it... At rock bottom I wished that even the rocks should open up and I should be swallowed up. Finally decided that it was just an incident and I started to climb up slowly.... Didn't know rock climbing then but decided that I had to try it sometime. Took me about 3-4 days to get outta it and back to the normal person I was faking to be.

After that I acted in a lot of plays in school... participated in inter school elecutions... debates etc... had some sweet victories... I think my messup would probably be one of the last thing ppl will remember... but from all the dialogues, words I've spoken I only remember the above words exactly.... its like stuck in my head somewhere.... I considered that my worst ever public fiasco... Got my chance to mess things up later too :-) But I guess this one was like the first big goofup.... that too infront of a lot of ppl and God was there too, I mean I did see the light!!!

Some months back I was chatting with a friend about the falling flat on your face and the sweet victories stuff, and I thought about this again and realised that it was not just one of those big failure moments but also my own sweet little victory since I came out of it ok :-) Right... I didn't exterminate the teacher. Yeah that and I mean a lot of times such an incident would hinder future endeavours. For like 14 years I considered it one of my biggest goofups :-) but then realised otherwise....

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me

Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do remember me
Oh Lordy
Look a way, beyond, the blue

Goodfellas

It was the summer of our final year of undergrad engineering college. Over the course of time Addi (Aditya) had become notorious for doing things that would make people pull stomach muscles, AJ (Apurva) had become notorious for his witty and open remarks and Alice (moi) had become notorious for being this taciturn chap, with spurts of enthusiasm. Right from our second year the three of us used to attend lectures usually seated on the same bench. We did a lot of projects together and usually bunked classes together, finding refuge in the college canteen. So as I was saying, it was the summer of our final year of undergrad engineering college. Final year exams were around the corner. We got together in college as per ritual to exchange notes and discuss topics before the exams. Something that I looked forward to. Not just cause their two brains were amongst the brightest in our class, but because it was a welcome break from the routine of studying. We were outside our department when a professor met us. He said, "Hello. How are you boys doing. Nice to see ex-students coming back to college to relive old memories. How long has it been since you graduated." We stood there silent. The professor went on,"I just have to keep some notes in office. Wait here, I'll come back and meet you. Its nice of you to come back". As soon as he disappeared we looked at each other and burst out laughing, as we started to run away. Seems we had bunked too many of that particular profs lectures.

Its been nearly 5 years now and Addi has continued to entertain us with his so called Addi-isms. A couple of years back Addi declared to the world that he would get married in December, whosoever the lucky girl might be. However the date was set in February this year. A few weeks after Addi's engagement he met Rahul, a batchmate from college. Richa, his fiancee was with him. Addi introduced Richa to Rahul. Rahul then looked at Richa and said,"Hum dono ek hi class me the. (We two were in the same class)". Addi then stood there perplexed for about 10 seconds. Finally some words managed to come out, "Yeh kaise ho sakta hai. (How is that possible)." Richa and Rahul then had to elucidate furthur, probably pulling a few stomach muscles.

During his wedding Addi was chatting with my mom. My mom is pretty free with my friends and usually ends up joking and stuff with them. For some reason he ended up telling my mom that I only like girls who are booked or married. Addi claims that his choice of words were different. More to the tune that most of the ppl I hang out with are booked or married. But that didn't stop mumzee from increasing the number of phone calls to me. After a week or so she forgot about it. We joked that we should morphe a photo of me with some married chick and with a kid and stuff. err... I'm sure this will give Manish some ideas of how to blackmail me. Right Ayush :-)

After their honeymoon in God's own country, the newly weds dropped anchor in Bangalore, enroute to Pune. They stayed with AJ and me. AJ moved to bangalore a couple of months back. Richa seems to have caught on to the fact that Addi's leg has to be pulled every now and then. Bala and Ashu, our batchmates, got together with us. Dhruv our roomie also joined us. We came back home and then decided that the night was still young. We laid out some Almond mint liqueur, some homemade date wine and some french red wine. AJ then asked Addi's permission to read some of Addi's old emails, which AJ will hold onto till posterity. Addi more than willingly gave the go-ahead. Addi and AJ had done their postgraduation from IIT together. It was about 3 years back. The date was february 14th and Addi rushed to AJ's PC and sent some emails. He forgot to sign out, so AJ decided to take a look as to what Addi was upto on Feb 14th. He had sent some mails to his friends distributing advice. One on Feb 13th, giving some fundaes about life. On Feb 14th he sent out another one to another female friend. He gave a lot of advice, a shoulder to cry on, and ended with a couplet which is part of a ghazal sung by apne Jagjit uncle. The couplet is below.

gulshan ki faqat phoolon se nahin, kaanton se bhi zeenat hoti hai.
jeene ke liye is duniyaa mein gham ki bhi zaroorat hoti hai.

After AJ had read those mails, he told Addi that he had sent another mail to the girl, which AJ of course did not do. Addi was tense and wrote another mail to that girl telling her that his mailbox had been hacked and someone might have sent her some mails from his account. AJ then went on to read the reply which he also managed to save for the past 3 years. It read....

Hi Addi,
Yeah I did get some spam mail from your account. Someone was trying to give me some kind of advice and ended with some couplet or something.....

After the email reading was done, with a lot of voice modulation and pauses of course, we all looked at each other and burst out laughing. Richa had just joined the club. The signature in both mails he sent had the following,"Faling in love is not about finding the perfect person. Its about learning to see an imperfect person, perfectly." Something I had read in the readers digest and had told him about. After a bit of deliberation, we unanimously concluded that he must have typed the signature specifically for those two mails. AJ then opened one of the mails that Addi had sent him around that time to support our claim, and the signature was different. Addi misspelled 'falling' as 'faling'. We surmised that maybe that very folly had done him in. I mean you could think of it as "Failing" and not "Falling", which did make gramatical sense. However to which some parties might take offense. By now we had all pulled a lot of stomach muscles and were rolling on the ground. Addi as usual allowed us to pull his leg to glory. In the midst of our delirium, with our hearts soaked in wine, we decided to hit the sack. It was 4AM.

I had seen this movie Momento, in which the actor reflects,"We all need mirrors to remind us of who we are." Maybe we also need mirrors to remind us of who we want to be. We come across a lot of mirrors in our lives. Some mirrors are ingraved in rich and beautiful frames, some in ordinary ones and some in a quaint setup. But what really matters is what we see in them. Some mirrors we hate to look into, not cause we don't like them but cause we don't like what part of us it reflects. Some mirrors we put on a pedestal, the very act which inhibits us from looking into it. And then there are those mirrors which remind us of who we are and who we want to be. The "goodfellas" mirrors, a term mobsters give to others they consider to be trustworthy and ok guys.

Beneath the Embers

Beneath the Embers

Coup de main, a consensus breached,

Caught unawares, the rainbow bleached.

A masquerading smile, a lukewarm fear,

The icy hands, wasn't it clear.

Consenting adults, the coming of age,

Juvenile passions, each considered a sage.

Prepared questions, to clear up the fog,

As the debate turns to a monologue.

Anticipated answers evoke an alien feeling,

The unfiltered view doesn't seem appealing.

With flowing words, the river runs dry,

As the convincing game ends in a tie.

Astray in the darkness, with each echoing word,

The dialogue begins, others feelings are heard.

As time goes by, you question your faith,

You question your stand, your rhetorical hate.

There is one God, why the contrasting vision,

Cause maybe your beliefs are your religion.

Beneath the embers, as the ashes take form,

From silent lucidity, comes a silent storm.

------ Alistair D'souza 21^st Feb 2006

Tracking the locomotion

10:00 AM:
I awake from my slumber. Its Sunday, or was it ??? Errr... not sure, but it sure felt like sunday. My body aches, I look around and decide to sleep some more. As I close my eyes again, I slowly float back into never never land, as I tend to sway between reality and my dream-like exploits from before.

4:30 AM:
The first rays of the sun were yet to refract their way over the horizon. The air was crisp, brindled with a whiff of raw breath. Still groggy, but with an immense feeling of emancipation we walked out of the bus, looked at each other, smiled and set out on our respective journeys to our warm cosy beds... I dropped Lakshmi at her place on my way back and then was about to hit the bed, when I looked at my clothes and gear... RED!!! It was covered in red dust.

7:55 PM:

We were at the side of the road, brandishing our flashlights, hoping that luck would favour us and hoping that we would soon be carried back to the place we had ventured out of. A truck stopped and we hauled ourselves into the open container behind. On closer inspection we found that our habitat for the next 2 hours had previously been used to transport red bricks. We stood for the initial part of the journey, grasping the sides along the sharp curves, grasping the sounds made by the wind in our hair, grasping the beauty of the clear star studded sky above. Then while some decided to lie down and get some rest, others decided that there was more to grasp.

The truck could not drop us inside Hassan so we got down outside the town limits and found a tea shop along the way. We freshened up a bit and then found ourselves in the back of a milk container carrier on our way to the bus stand. Just before the bus was to leave Sandeep realised that he had lost track of time, the watch on his hand having deserted him. Then ironically Raoul and Sandeep set out back to the tea stall, to reclaim lost time.

6:45 PM:
We were losing an already lost battle against time and light. It was the only path we had not chosen so far. We then took a deep breath, armed with our flashlights and a faint belief that we were still not lost, and then we marched on ahead. After more than half an hour of following the unknown path we were still in the dark, our choice being reaffirmed every now and then by the faint sound of a vehicle, only to be stifled by the overwhelming flow of the stream nearby. Finally the sound of the vehicles overcame that of the stream. But then the stream decided to pull another one on us, as it stood between us and the road ahead. Then in the dark we attempted to cross the stream, stepping on slippery stones, using all fours. Some of us fell into the water since the stones were pretty far apart. It took all of us like 20-25 mins to cross it. There was this other group in front of us where the guys were standing straight and with the girls besides them flat on the stones. The guys were flashing the torches for the girls next step. Wanted to take out some snaps as it was really funny... but I guess I would have been beaten up after that...

5:15 PM:
After being seduced by nature we took a wrong path, only to realise the same about half an hour later, when we found ourselves back on the railway tracks. But instead of nostalgia, our thoughts ran amok. We decided that it was not a good time to start beating each other up, so we started to trace our steps back. Then Sandeep mesmerised by nature, lagging behind us, took another wrong turn. We realised he was missing after about 10 mins. We yelled till the forest resonated with "SANDEEP", "SANDEEP!!!". We decided to scout the area and after a few minutes I found myself alone. Surrounded on all sides by trees that seemed to be growing at an alarming rate, their shadows creeping up behind my back. Even the sounds of nature seemed to take on a new avatar. After about 20 mins we found each other again and started to trace our steps back to the place where nature had seduced us.

4:10 PM:
We decided to leave the railway station and take the short cut to the road, through the forest. The route downhill felt like a real trek as our knees took a beating. As we cleared through the bushes we found ourselves panting, standing infront of a beautiful stream, which we just had to delve into. We unanimously decided that we had a lot of daylight time on our side. And since hindsight is always accurate we finally gave into temptation and cooled off our desires.

3:00 PM:
After walking for about 18-19 kms we had reached Yedikumari station that was still under constuction. A solitary engine stood there waiting for us to explore it. There was also a modified truck and a sumo that could run on the railway tracks. After trying to strike a deal with the station master to give us a lift to the next station, we decided to satiate our hunger, only to see our negotiated means of transport leave without us.

1:30 PM:
After having crossed over a thousand bridges and been through a thousand tunnels the journey started to feel a bit monotonous. Trepidation no longer had a place in our hearts as we found our footings across the bridges. The screeching of the bats in the dark tunnels felt more like an accompaniment of nature. Our system had been programmed to move our legs ahead just the proper distance, to find the cemented planks that were vertical to the rails. It was sometime around then that we decided to have a carrot break. It was also sometime around then that a thought arose in someones head, that maybe we should not stay overnight and trek the next day. The thought spread like wild fire.

12:00 PM:
I thought I had gotten used to initial fear before crossing a bridge but the best was yet to come. We then came to this bridge that was about 50-60 meters high. It was high noon, the sun was above our heads and with the dark shadows from the near future trampled beneath our feet, we set out to cross this bridge also. At some points we had planks (1 foot wide) laid along the tracks to assist us in our endeavour. At others we had to manoeuver our fear, as we focussed on the horizontal steel planks. At some points the gap between them was a little more than 2 feet, through which we could see the ground about 50-60 meters below us. Our complete nervous system was on high alert as each foot was firmly placed on safe ground. The trick was not to look ahead at the never ending bridge. Just focus on the immediate problem, one step at a time. After crossing the bridge we took a short detour downhill where we took a lunch break along the stream. From there we could see the old wooden bridge which had been overshadowed by the new mighty bridge.

9:00 AM:
After crossing another bridge we decided to stop for breakfast besides a stream. The bridges ahead were to see a lot of action from us. One of them was to be used as a modelling ramp where I was to showcase the 'Camping (Don't) Fall 2006' collection. Another one was to be the setting for the 'Heads popping thru the tracks' photo session. The snap that is gonna win me the Pulitzer prize :-)

7:00 AM:
We stopped along the tracks where we found a mountainside that we could climb. Manish and Sandeep managed to get to the top. It was too tricky for me. We also found a wooden plank that joined two iron wheels at the side of the track. We decided to carry it and place it on the tracks and then we fooled around a bit. I re-enacted a train scene from the movie 'Ghulam' and nearly got run over by the oncoming man-powered engine. After gathering our bearings we headed out along the tracks, ready to cross all the bridges and tunnels that came along our way.

6:15 AM:
We came across our first bridge. The sun was still rising and so we had to use our torchlights. Horizontal steel planks, about 1 foot wide, were strewn along the tracks to assist us in crossing it. Inspite of all the assistance we were still very cautious as to where we landed our footing.

4:00 AM:
The bus dropped us at Donigal in the wee and cold hours of the morning. A few feet away we found our way to the tracks. We had decided to trek along this train track that was still under construction. We walked along the tracks, aided by our torchlights. After about 20 mins we decided to park ourselves and start a fire. I had not been able to sleep a wink during the bus journey. So I decided to make the railway tracks my bed, while the others warmed themselves besides the fire. As we lost ourselves within the flames we realised that we didn't start the fire, the fire actually started us. We did not know what lay ahead. The unknown journey, layed out with bridges and tunnels was till then subject to the metamorphosis and evanescence of our imagination and moods. Finally we were ready to do the locomotion. It was now reality's turn to etch them out in our memory.

2:00 AM:
I must have been fast asleep, alternating through the various stages of sleep. They say the memorable dreams occur in the last stage of sleep commonly known as REM sleep. I guess it was time to float away into never never land.

The Press Release that never made it.

Aaghe badho!!! Aagho Badho!!! Paisa nahi hai....
====================================

Thats what Sri (CEO) and Baskar (founder of Impulsesoft and CTO), a 30 yr old guy armed with his blue rubber slippers, got to hear when they and the team set out to raise venture capital in the summer of 2005, with thoughts of market consolidation at the back of their minds. "Aaghe tho badhna hi hai, lekin uske liye paisa bhi chahiye". Well there was no 'paisa' but there was dollars. They came across a company called Sirf (http://www.sirf.com/ Silicon Radio Frequency... thats Si R F) who are the market leaders in GPS chipsets. SiRF owns 60% of the worldwide GPS chipset market share. Well for those that don't know what GPS is, its Global Positioning System. Sirf was founded in 1995 with the intention to assist in solving one of man's oldest pastimes, trying to figure out where you are and where you're going. GPS tries to solve it..... but sometimes even GPS can't let us know where we are and where we are going :-) sometimes you just have to fall back to the old star-gazing methods... hmmm... So now after they have acquired us, we are also gonna try to "assist" in solving that age old problem by err.... preaching from the mountain tops ????

Why Sirf and not one of our other suitors you ask.... Picture this.... ok Bollywood estyle picture this... We have Srikrishna (impulsesoft CEO) playing the part of the father figure. Then Shekar (chairman) playing the role of Merlin. Then Raja (engineering head) playing the pragmatic big brother role. Then Sridhar (the architect) emanating spurts of sage advice, like a volcano that remains dormant for most of its time. But sometimes, just sometimes you see it explode with fireworks. An amazing phenomenon. At center stage I can imagine Baskar and Vidhya dancing round trees (bollywood estyle) singing,"Humko SiRF tum se pyaar hai".... Thats why!!! wokay!!!.... See in bollywood you come up with the songs first, then the ending and then the story..... couldn't picture that.... not satisfied... well read on.

SiRF is a very strong technology oriented company. When SiRF went for their IPO in April 2004 they were ranked in forbes 2004 top 10 IPOs in the world... Google was ranked 2nd that year with Sirf 8th..... As of today SiRF have a market of about 1.6 billion dollars with revenues growing at a very good rate year over year.... pretty good for a 300+ strong employee company with 130 patents and 200 pending patents.... We are their 5th acquisition, being the largest in employee numbers i.e 55 of us... SiRF are very particular and acquire like 20 ppl from here, 40 from there types. So now its a 355+ ppl strong company. The management team is pretty strong too. First there is Kanwar Chadha, Founder and VP of Marketing, who has led SiRF Technology from start-up phase to a leader in location awareness within six years and is also one of the most sought-after experts in location-awareness and GPS-related trends and issues. Sirf's current CEO Michael L. Canning, is a veteran with 20 years’ executive management experience in the semiconductor industry. He pioneered the “fabless” manufacturing model at Cirrus Logic, a concept now followed by the majority of semiconductor companies and also helped grow revenues at Cirrus Logic from zero to over a billion.

Before acquiring us, Sirf had a huge percentage of the GPS experts in the world. After acquiring us that number doesn't change... :-) hmmmmm.... err well cause we deal in bluetooth not GPS....

Sirf's rise to number 1 position is something out of a Mario Puzo novel.
When Surf was founded, Conexant which was still called Rockwell, ran the cartel. They were the largest GPS chip set vendor. Conexant was a pioneering force behind the development of GPS technology in the 1970s. But then Sirf came out with a GPS chipset that was smaller, more elegant and had better performance... some say it was Getafix's Magic potion that did the trick. Even though Sirf was a lot smaller, Sirf has been eating their lunch.Tensions were rising ... there was no place for the both of them... something had to give. Then in the summer of 2001 Sirf made its macabre move and hunted down Conexant's GPS team one by one. The metronome of the casium atom oscillated, in one of the 24 GPS satellites orbiting the earth, for the 7,172,52,760 time in the 53rd second, of the 35th minute, of the 11th hour of that faithful night. The bodies were found near the coast splintered with bullets. The exact location was Latitude: 33.62 N, Longitude: 117.90 W.... The assasins had strewn the beach with their GPS chipsets... they had left their mark..... The night resonated with "Die!!! Die!!! Silicon Die!!!!!" btw.. you have to know a little bit about chipsets.. i.e. silicon, wafer, dies etc to appreciate the 'die' statement... others please smile atleast... or do I have to come there and tickle you :-)

Back to reality... Actually Conexant transferred to Sirf its entire GPS technology portfolio, its products and its core GPS engineering team, about 20 experienced GPS engineers, for a stake in the company. That deal made SiRF No. 1 in the GPS chip market. That was also their first kill.... Finally getting the taste of blood they wanted more...

Their next hunt was in Feb 2003 when they acquired key employees of Enuvis...a wireless location company... adding the ability to acquire GPS signals and deliver high accuracy location calculations in even more environments, such as inside buildings and dense metropolitan areas where other GPS technologies fail.

In late April 2005, it acquired Kiesel Microelectronics (total of 19 employees), a Stockholm-based (Sweden) designer of complex radio frequency integrated circuits, founded by Ericsson, for Bluetooth, WiMAX, WLAN, W-CDMA, UWB, GSM/PCS/DCS, and several ISM applications. BTW it takes a long long time to become an expert in RF. I guess most of them must be Phds or something with 20+ years of experience..

In June 2005, they acquired the rights to GPS chipsets that Motorola had in development and the services of 40 Motorola employees, having expertise in the integration of GPS in a range of wirelessly connected systems, especially in two key target platforms -- automotive and wireless handsets.

come Dec 2005: Sirf acquired what they think is the best bluetooth audio company in the world :-) shuush!!!! lets not tell them the truth :-) They added 55 of our employees to their team of 300+ employees.... so now its about 20+ nationalities in 10 or so locations. They also have a VLSI team in Noida, Delhi which was started in June 2004...

The single-chip solution that Sirf will offer has a complete GPS navigation solution and a Bluetooth 1.2 compliant communication interface. The solution leverages the RF IC design capabilities of Sweden-based Kisel Microlectronics that SiRF acquired last year and the Bluetooth expertise of Impulsesoft.

Well I think the management made a good decision by selecting Sirf over our other suitors cause if Impulsesoft sneezes, Sirf will get the flu. Hey... about the sneezing-->flu part let me try it... "Achoo"... "Achoo!!!"... "ACHOOOOOO!!!!!"... sob sob no one cares.... wait no ones in the room :-) Maybe I'll try it at lunch in the cafeteria....

Anyways these days GPS is finding its way into cars, boats, planes, construction equipment, movie making gear, farm machinery, even laptop computers, plane landings etc. Your cameras will have GPS so that from next time you can search for your snaps on your PC via location and time..... Japan has come out with a service where your GPS and compass (orientation) enabled phones can be used as 'point and search' devices, wherein you can get reviews of movies, restaurants, other info just by pointing (with relevant search parameters) to one of 7,00,000 locations in Japan. Way in the future self-guided cars could take you across town....

I still remember about 2 and a half years back when I left the big building of Cisco to join the tiny quaint house of Impulsesoft many ppl told me "yeah you'll get to do some good work in a startup.... but the company may die any moment... bluetooth is dead... what about security.. Cisco is secure".....

Well as Natalie Goldberg says, "Don't worry too much about security. You will eventually have a deep security when you begin to do what you want. And how many of us with our big fat salaries feel secure anyways. Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go."

But what does she know right...

I guess the path ahead seems one full of possibilities and challenges and therefore excitement, butterflies in the stomach, and a subtle tinge of trepidation to top it off.

The Hand

The Hand

The Hand that makes the world go round,
To which we are so tightly bound.

It follows norms, thats just the way,
It wants to whisper, it has no say.

It sometimes knows not what to do,
Whats right from wrong, it has no clue.

It tries its soul, to brim its wish,
Some silver spoons, some nouveau riche.

But a Hand that is so full of grace,
A perceivable one, it has not a face.

It recruits itself, to do the grind,
The point of life, it hopes to find.

It builds to last a thousand years,
Through sweat and pain and joy and tears.

Perchance to dream, a sculptor's bliss,
The Hand that builds out of nothingness.

It rocks the cradle, a dream unfurled,
Hand in Hand, it rules the world.

------ Alistair D'souza 17^th Jan 2006

The Taj Mahal

I had been to the Taj Mahal when I was in Delhi during Christmas time. The plan then was to leave Gurgoan as early as possible to beat the traffic. However it depended on the fog and visibility. We were off by around 7. Sonali had packed some Christmas goodies made by our mom and Nikhil's mom. Nikhil's mom also makes some real good coffee liqueur which I had the previous day. The drive took us a little more than 3 hours and finally we reached Agra Fort. You are able to view the Taj in the distance from the fort. I took out a snap through the binoculars :-) After a bit of site seeing we decided to proceed to the real thing.

Mobile phones are not allowed inside the Taj Mahal so we had to deposit it at a counter nearby. However ppl had lost the concept of following a queue and then there was a lot of shoving and pushing. There was just one door to enter and exit. The people that were inside couldn't get out and more people were trying to get in. Somehow Nikhil managed to get in and get the job done.

We then moved towards the entrance. I thought it would be this real awesome aaahhhaaaa experience, but I guess I had set my expectations too high. I mean its beautiful and stuff but I guess with the precious gems and the moonlight it would look awesome. Or maybe its cause there were so many people around. I then went to one corner and sat alone and looked at it and it started to look more beautiful. I guess once I read more of the history on it, I would look at it in a different light. Something like when its past is superimposed on its current beauty it would give it this rare combination of awe. However I am still trying to figure out why its like the 7th wonder of the world... there must be something to it that I'm not able to see :-) Thats why the plausible explanations....

I guess you always have to look a bit deeper to experience the true beauty of things, be it one of the wonders of the world or normal things around you or even normal people for that matter. I think its the same with songs, poetry, art. Read this somewhere sometime, where this artist says that the painting is no longer his. It belongs to the person who sees it cause people can view it in different ways and the thoughts/feelings/interpretation etc are theirs. His work is just a catalyst. And then there are times when you usually don't like something at first ... but after some time it tends to grow on you. And its usually the things that grow on you that last longer. Sometimes forever.

Sweet Mother of mine

People often ask me how I manage to get so many days off at work. I was recently off on a two week haitus. Before that I had taken a week off in November. And during the middle of the year I had taken a lot of holidays. At one point I would vanish from the city every 2 weeks :-) The hangover of the previous exploit would just start to fade and then I would be at it all over again.

Maybe I'm important so they allow me to freak out whenever I wanna or maybe I'm not so important, that they do not care if I'm working or not. Hmmmm... Or maybe its cause of the goodies I get back from home. Whenever I say I'm taking time off people are like, "So you're going home!!!". And then they give this big smile. If I reply in the negative then I would hear things like,"Maybe you could go home too on your way back. Its been quite some time since you went home right." Well my mom makes some mouth watering cakes and other goodies. And the cakes taste even better when its fresh out of the oven. Hot cake with some yummy icing to top it off. My mom gave me a lot of cakes (two types) and other christmas goodies. I took some to office and it was over before I could send a mail out. My PC was taking time to boot and other people were like,"No we won't send the mail". No one volunteered to go get a knife. They just used whatever was around. My manager would say,"Lets plan you're next trip home" :-) Then there was Sridhar who complemented me on being my mother's son!

Well what can I say my mother is sweet, very sweet. Even the doctor thinks so. We have known that she has this extra sweetness for the past four years but due to my sister's wedding and christmas she was toooo sweet this year end. Was a teeny weeny bit afraid but I didn't tell her that. My Dad didn't show it but then again there are a lot of Clint Eastwoods out there. Well she has promised to control her sweetness like before, but the sweet goodies will keep coming. And I'll sure be getting a lot of days off :-)

Unwavering Thought

Unwavering thought as tomorrow comes,
A brand new day, the music hums.

Resolutions to make, and some to keep,
As the mind starts to wander both far and deep.

Mountains to conquer, seas to tame,
It all feels part of this deja-vu game.

Unwavering thought, is that all it takes,
To sift the genuine from the fakes.

No grudges to hold, no feelings to hide,
Live and let live, an adage to abide.

As poseidon dies, a poseidon lives,
Unwavering thought from a heart that gives.

Unwavering thought as tomorrow comes,
A brand new day, the music hums.

- Alistair D'souza 31st Dec '05

Boys don't cry

Well they fight and cheat and fight and cheat and grunt too, especially when playing cricket. We used to have these cricket matches between the compound junta where I live in Nagpur and outsiders. Friends and their relations from all around had descended into the city for christmas. It was time to relive those moments that have defined the very men we are now. It was time to teach the younger ones a little bit of tradition so that they can pass it down the line. The teams were formed. As usual it was the compound against the outsiders. Rules were made as the game progressed. One run if it touches the roof out there, another one if it goes into the bush out there, no runs if it crosses this line and what about other places... well we'll decide as the game progresses. The objective is to win at any cost. You can cheat and cheat you must. If you get run out you can argue that it was actually a one run declared and that you were just running for kicks. You can ask for a third umpire decision. And you are free to choose that third umpire. You just have to use your imagination to come up with arguments and counter arguments along the way. Yelling frightens your opponents. Even if you don't have any valid argument you yell to add to the noise, while the brains of the team cook up something. Me... well I usually play without specs, which if my excuse for not being able to catch a fast moving ball. With specs there is no drastic improvement in my catching skills :-) but I usually play without specs and leave the rest to fate and my cheating teammates.